Ryan Thomas DeLarber, age 41, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, passed away unexpectedly December 23, 2025, in Oklahoma City. He was born on October 16, 1984, in St. Louis, Missouri. Ryan lived a life defined by service, compassion, and dedication to others.
Ryan graduated from Oakville High School in St. Louis, Missouri in 2003 and then enlisted in the United States Air Force on July 17, 2003, and served a total of 22 years of military service. He served as a Security Forces Defender. After completing Basic Military Training and Security Forces Technical Training at Lackland Air Force Base, San Antonio, Texas, he was assigned to McConnell Air Force Base, Kansas, where he served from 2004 to 2014.
Throughout his career, Ryan completed four deployments: two deployments to Iraq from 2004 to 2006, during which he was attached to the U.S. Army 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault) and received the Army Commendation Medal; a deployment to Saudi Arabia in 2009; and a deployment to the United Arab Emirates from 2013 to 2014. Over the course of his service, Ryan earned 11 medals, 6 ribbons, and 4 awards, reflecting his dedication, professionalism, and exceptional performance.
In 2014, following his active-duty service, Ryan joined an Air Force Special Operations unit with the Oklahoma Air National Guard at Will Rogers Air National Guard Base, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. He attained the rank of Technical Sergeant (E-6) and wore his uniform with pride.
Ryan’s commitment to service extended beyond his military duties. He served as the Child and Youth Program Coordinator at the Kansas National Guard Joint Force Headquarters (JFHQ) in Topeka, Kansas, where he made a lasting impact on the lives of countless children and teenagers who admired and respected him. For his dedication and leadership, he received Air Force Commendation Medals, including recognition for his outstanding performance as a recruiter, achieving the highest recruitment levels in many years.
Ryan devoted significant time and energy to honoring fallen service members and supporting veterans facing mental health challenges. He ensured battlefield crosses were delivered to Gold Star families, offering comfort, remembrance, and respect during moments of profound loss. His work reflected a deep commitment to honoring sacrifice and fostering healing within the military and veteran community.
Beyond service, Ryan’s greatest pride was his children. He is survived by his son, Ashton DeLarber, who followed in his footsteps by joining the United States Army and serves as a Specialist (E-4), and his daughter, Addie DeLarber. He is also survived by his father, Dale DeLarber and wife Christine DeLarber; his mother, Joan Davis; his brother, Chris DeLarber; his sister, Katy DeLarber; his step-brother, Matt James and wife Ginny James; his step-sister Melanie Eskew and husband Mark Eskew; his niece, Kynsie Couvillion; and his beloved dog, Bucca, a constant and cherished companion.
He is further survived by his uncles, Kevin Short, Stephen Manche, and Raymond DeLarber, Jr; his aunts, Janet Short, Mary Kinney, Gail Manche, and Lystra DeLarber; and many cousins and friends that were dear to him.
Ryan was known for his compassion, kindness, and ability to connect with people from all walks of life. He had a love for acting and appeared in Tulsa King and Twisters. He also enjoyed cooking, hunting, fishing, boating, archery, golf, and other outdoor activities.
Whether serving others, supporting fellow veterans, or pursuing creative passions, Ryan gave fully of himself. He had a heart of gold, was a tireless worker, wore his uniform proudly, and was always willing to go the extra mile for others. Ryan Thomas DeLarber will be remembered as a devoted father, a loyal friend, and a true American Airman. He will rest in peace as a hero.
Services: Visitation will be held Thursday, January 29th, 2026 from 2PM to 8PM at Kutis Funeral Home located at 5255 Lemay Ferry Rd. St Louis, MO 63129.
Funeral will be held Friday, January 30th, 2026 from 10:30AM to 11:30AM at the above address, followed by burial at Jefferson Barracks National Cemetery.
My sincere condolences. I grew up with Ryan from elementary school through high school. Although we didn’t hang out. I would see him out from time to time. I commend his service, and will miss running into around town.
From one veteran to another, may you RIP Ryan. I tried my hardest to help locate you for Katy and your family, to no avail. I’m so sorry we didn’t have a better outcome. I didnt personally know Ryan but from talking with Katy and keeping in touch with her, he sure seems like a great guy. May you all find the peace you are looking for and to Ashton and Addie, your dad may have taught you two a lot of things growing up BUT he never taught you how to live without him. Be strong and as I personally know we learn to live day to day making them proud until we meet again!! Always know he is watching over you! Katy it is a pleasure getting to know you, I’ve been in your shoes, not the same situation BUT you know I’m here if you ever need/want to talk. You have my number. To the entire family please grieve however you feel is right for you because everyone’s grieving process is different. RIP my veteran battle Ryan Thomas DeLarber 🥰
My heart goes out to all of you ,,, such a loss , only God can get you through this ,, things in life get tough but some day we will all be together again ,, always hold him in your heart , he will always be with you , keep his memories alive ,, bless his family dear Lord and hold them tight !! God gained a special angel !
During a few months leading up to his passing, I had the privilege of spending a couple of weeks with Ryan. He was an exceptionally kind, intelligent, and beautiful individual. Ryan possessed a profound passion for assisting others and was consistently thoughtful about the ways in which he could contribute to the Warrior Community. The sacrifices and actions Ryan took for this country are beyond words. He was also incredibly proud of his son’s decision to join the United States Army, and he expressed his pride about it frequently, which always brought a smile to his face. Ryan DeLarber is my hero. I extend my deepest condolences and love to all the DeLarber family.
May you rest Valhalla brother!
Extremely Sincerely,
Ret.Sgt Besse Kyle .R
Dale, Christy, Ashton, Addie, and the DeLarber family,
We are so sorry for the loss of Ryan. Reading about his life and service reveals what an extraordinary man he was, defined by dedication, compassion, and a true commitment to others. His distinguished military career, his care for fellow service members and families, and his devotion to his children leave a legacy that is inspiring, honorable, and patriotic. Please accept our heartfelt condolences, and may you find comfort in knowing how many lives Ryan touched through his incredible life and outstanding service.
With our deepest sympathies,
Jon and Shauna Meier
I’ve known Ryan since he was a youngster and I can tell you he was as good if not better than anyone I’ve ever met. I am having a tough time processing this loss because he was about the same age as my son and they knew each other growing up. I consider Ryan and his family, my extended family and I extend my condolences to them RIP my friend.
Dear DeLarber Family
I don’t have words big enough for this loss, but I want you to know how deeply sorry I am. Ryan was an extraordinary man—his life mattered, his service mattered, and the way he loved and showed up for others will never be forgotten.
What a son you raised- how proud you must feel. His legacy lives on in his children, in every life he touched, and in the honor with which he served. Please know that you are not alone in this—so many of us are holding you close in our thoughts and prayers.
Much love,
Barb Clinton
Dale,
So sorry for the loss of your son. Our prayers are for you and your family!
Jim and Laurie Dietrich
Dale and DeLarber Family,
I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your Son. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.