Tuesday January 6, 2025.
Beloved daughter of William and Shelia Cullen Dettmann; loving sister of Matt (Taylor) and John (Vickie) Dettmann; fiercely loving aunt of Oliver and Theo Dettmann; beloved partner of Jane Eitel; dear niece of John (June) Cullen, the late Lawrence (surviving Nancy) Cullen, the late William Cullen, Jr, the late Eileen Cook, the late Kathleen (surviving Dave) Ziegler, the late Clara Ann (late Ralph) Padfield, the late Ted (late Jan) Dettmann and the late Joyce (late Earl) Schubert; dear half-sister of Helen (Mark) Hairston and their daughter Lyric Harris; dear cousin and friend to many.
Jennifer loved living in multiple places in the US and exploring nature and the outdoors, when she was back home in St. Louis she enjoyed spending time with her fellow graduates from Nerinx Hall High School.
Services: A celebration of life will be held at a later date. Memorials to Siteman Cancer Center https://siteman.wustl.edu/ or the Missouri Botanical Garden https://www.missouribotanicalgarden.org/ appreciated.
The world is a much quieter and boring place without you Jenn (with 2 n’s!) We met Jan 1987 & your tenacity and love of life have never changed or wavered. Your giggles equaled your feistiness but your huge heart was what made you sincere. In the last 18 month fight for life, you managed to remember my grandkids names & you asked me about them often. You checked in on me on days I was supposed to check in on you!….you said you were being proactive but I know better. I envied your green thumb & all the details you put into hosting a party. But now that you’re gone Jenn, I miss our friendship. RALPH. Cancun, synchronized swim, dance class, and later in life, chatting on your front porch at the Lou. Hasta luego Mi Amiga.
Family, Please accept my sympathy.
Jennifer was so special
“” One-of-A-Kind “” … Always a positive Bright Light & Sparkly.
She will be missed,
Sincerest Sympathy, Loyce
Dear Jenn,
Thank you for being my first true friend when I left Charlotte and moved to Boston in 2005. I had no idea how much we would have connected when I met you at that networking event; you at Boston Spirit Magazine and me at Doubletree Guest Suites Soldiers Field Road. The times we have had through the years, living near and living afar. The days, nights, times, convos and memories we shared are sealed in my heart. I’m a better person deep down because I had you in my earthly life and now my spiritual one. I will never forget seeing your face all the way from ST. Louis at my mom’s service in Charlotte 12/2021; but why should it surprise me that’s the superior loving, giving, caring, non-self serving person you were and still are amongst the Heavenly Angels. Till we meet again love, keep shining your light and giving folks hope that they can meet your standard of love. Love you, same sign off you always gave me.
Rest easy, Jennifer. We will never forget all the beautiful memories we have all made together over the years. We love and miss you.
Chris and John
Jenn,
You will be missed… always kind, always there
Jenn, our dear girl. She was the little girl who lived down the street. I was her babysitter; she was five, I was a teenager. And Jenn came to our house for her weekly allergy shot, bringing her youthful energy and a bucket of giggles through the front door….and a deluge of of curiosities and questions; trying to get us to tell her things she was too young to hear! One time she cajoled my sister and me to give her a makeover with our eye shadows and lipsticks. It’s a memory we shared and laughed about as adult friends.
I’ll always remember that bright little red-headed firecracker. Her creativity, feistiness, mischievousness, and zest for life was apparent even as a child. It’s the essence with which she came into the world and with which she left. She brought a smile to my face to my face whenever I thought of her….as a child and then as an adult. And now, even through the sadness of losing her, she still brings a smile to my face. Probably yours too.
Bill, Sheila, Matt and John….all your love and support over the past few years was such a gift. How lucky she was to have you. . She loved you dearly. And dear Jangle…your love and constant care is unparalleled. What an eternal gift you were to Jenn…Her shining star. My love and condolences to each of you. Ann (Lamprecht) Austin
Jenn was many things in her life: salesperson, business owner, writer, advocate; creator; adventurer; humorist; intellectual; debater; motivator, wife, cat momma, daughter, sister, niece, cousin, aunt, and most importantly to me – a best friend from our early days at Camp Robin Hood to the classrooms of Nerinx Hall and into adulthood.
Jenn boldly loved her friends and family and made me feel important and cherished. Her laughter was infectious. She could be so silly, making me laugh until I cried or coughed myself into an asthma fit then she would hand me an inhaler. She was at my side along with her partner, Jane, and the Nerinx/Mehlville girls (JennCullen’s elephants) during the most difficult times in my life. I will forever be grateful for her gracious, compassionate, giving soul that mended my brokenness.
Jenn advocated for the things that were important to her: the environment, LGBTQIA+, animal rights and for humans to just be kind to one another. When we were younger, I assumed she would be a barrister arguing before the courts. She took those skills of discussion and used it for good to further the causes she believed in.
Jenn possessed chutzpah, spunk, grit, faith and a will to live life to the fullest through travel adventures and friendships. She had a way of turning adversity into shiny opportunities of hope, courage and perseverance. She inspired me to reach higher, be confident and love bigger.
Jenn will live on in my memories. My life is better because of her.
I love you dearly, sweet friend. You are at peace and loved by so many!
It’s hard to let you go, but this is not the end…
Such a perfect description of her Suzette!!! 🫶🏻
I am so sorry to learn of this. I had lost touch with Jenn, on my own Siteman journey. She was always a joy even as a teen, where I first met her in high school, even then she brought a black activist(Otis) to our school to give a speech. She was always looking out! Her mark on our world will be missed…
You were my best friend when I was coming out…we celebrated life together and even moved to Key West……I had no clue you were sick and I am heart broken because of my selfishness shutting you out last year….this will be one of my biggest regrets in life…..we created memories for decades….and I will cherish the memories….you will be with our dear Donnie now….
My dear Aunt Jennifer,
Words can’t fully express how grateful I am for every moment together, from the day I was first told about you to the day we finally met twelve years ago. From the nights of playing games when you would visit, to that unforgettable night of playing Yahtzee in your hospital room; from the days you surprised me, to the day we surprised you.
You were the ultimate example of choosing joy, even in your greatest battle. I will carry you with me always, especially in the moments when I need to choose joy over hurt.
I love you. 🤍
My sweet friend.
I will miss the many hours of talking in your ShangriLou, about everything from God to carrot cake to plants to politics. I will miss your infectious laugh, your constant need to create, your bottomless enthusiasm and creativity, your quick wit and even quicker tears. We would be laughing hysterically about one thing and moments later our conversation would turn to something deep and we’d both be in tears and then back to laughing! It doesn’t seem possible that you are no longer a phone call.
As I watched you deal with your diagnoses, I was in awe of your boundless and constant positivity, hope, tenacity, and will to – not just live – but to live large. You created and started working your way through your bucket list. Every place you lived, you would create a special outdoor space filled with plants and sunshine where you could visit and say hi to neighbors as they passed. Your eclectic collected interior design skills were always on point. And you always brought the laughter and fun! You truly lived life to the fullest!
I miss you, JeNN! One of my oldest and truest friends. We will have to appoint someone else to be outrageous now.
This is not good bye, it’s see you later! Get the shangrila ready! I’ll try to sneak you up some smokes!
Love you,
Tee
Well, here we go. Last January (2025) Jenn and Jane moved into their apartment next door to me. My first memory of Jenn is her, walking up my steps, to ask permission to block my driveway for their moving truck. I greeted her outside and the next thing I knew, I was smiling, just as she started to speak, knowing that I had already known her for a lifetime, maybe more. Soul recognition. We got to know each other by having chats, before and after my dog walks. She on her beautiful garden porch, me on my driveway. One day she asked me “Do you believe in God?” I replied “Yes, absolutely”. She said “Me too”. Then she shared her journey with me. Jenn was born the month I graduated from high school, so we both decided that I was her Big Sis. Jenn loved life. She loved people. She was so creative, and always busy. I was impressed by her many friends, always there when she needed them. She was equally, the best of friends to them. Jenn loved her mother, father, brothers, and twin nephews. She spoke of them often. She was always so grateful for everything good in her life. She was so much fun. I told her she could have done stand up comedy. She said she seriously considered it. Well, she was our stand up comedienne. Her laughter was infectious. Her organizing skills were stellar. Jenn and Jane’s apartment (home) is full of her love and energy. Jenn’s presence will be there for a long time. Two days after Christmas Jenn got a used VW sporty car. White, of course. It was on her bucket list. She said “I got it just in time.” She was looking forward to a trip to Greece and Italy in February. Her dear friend, Jane from Hannibal, had gifted her with this trip. Jenn was so happy when she showed me her room that was reserved on a Viking Long Ship! Well, Meg and Jane (partner) are going to make that trip, and guess who will be with them? Yep, I know that Jenn will accompany them on the trip. I am so fortunate to be graced with Jenn’s love and friendship for a year. How lucky am I? Many of you knew her for years. I know that she will be there to greet us, when it is our time to pass through the veil of life. I want to give very special recognition to her partner, Jane Eitel. Jane was so positive, patient, and loving during Jenn’s illness. She was Jenn’s rock. It was beautiful to witness their relationship, and love for each other. Jenn loved to travel. So on January 6, 2026, she embarked on the “trip of her lifetime”. I think Jenn will spend part of her time on the other side, and part of it here. She’s still here with us. Yesterday I went to lunch with two friends. The lady who took our orders, asked for our first names, to tag our orders. I gave her my name, and she confirmed my name. She said “Jenn”. I had to laugh. That little trickster girl! We love you so much, Jenn. Love is the only thing that matters. Gratitude for your life, my dear friend. My Little Sis.
I met Jennifer through her parents Shelia and Bill. She was a wonderful young person. She was always so full of energy and she was fun loving. Although, I have not seem her in many years, I somehow know that that same impressive young person became an impressive adult. She has left this earth for too soon and her absence will be felt by her family and friends but the memories of her will be with them
Always.
My dear sweet sister Jennifer,
The first time we met, I was way too young to travel alone—maybe 12—but so excited as I stepped off the bus from Houston to San Antonio. It was long before FaceTime or texts with photos, when we had to tell each other what we would be wearing just to spot new faces. In this case, though, it was easy to find you because we shared such a strong physical resemblance.
We’ve never lived close, but we could always pick up and catch up like it was yesterday. You being the better one at calling. I’ve always admired how you were such a wordsmith—your creativity, enthusiasm, boldness, and the way you stayed so wonderfully connected to the many friends you’ve made over a lifetime
In such a short time, we shared some of the most precious memories, ones I still practice and share with others today.
First: Salad Bowl (IYKYK)
Second: I am to ask myself—Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
This week, as I was reflecting, I found so many thoughtful things around my house—physical hints of you. By my bathroom sink sits a little dish that reads, “Always my sister, forever my friend.” I opened my desk drawer and found the journal you gave me, inscribed with the words “to my most well-loved……sister.”
I opened my prayer journal looking for an unrelated index card and discovered the florist card that you sent during my brain surgery. You reminded me that you were there in spirit, but more importantly, God was with me and I was in good hands—Ironically, this being the very thing you told me about yourself during our call last week. Thank you so much for sharing with me that you knew Jesus had you. That is the best gift anyone can give their loved one, because I know we will see each other again. Yesterday, Lyric sent me a video of you singing what you said was one of your new favs by TobyMac song “I Just Need U”. The video made me giggle as I see the mirroring of expression. From there I traced to my piano bench looking for the lyrics you doodled while visiting as we played song writers. I quickly noticed in addition to your grander vocabulary, you also had the better handwriting. One line you wrote was: “I am you, you are me, we’re alike as two can be.” I can honestly say while yes, we shared so many physical similarities, I hope to grow even more into the internal ones that matter that you displayed. I am so proud of your courageous , accepting, joyous, kind, and loving spirit. I will miss you deeply, but I look forward to seeing all that you’ve been up to when we meet again in a much better place. And don’t worry, Mark and I will do our best to stay connected with Jane. I love you sister ❤️
I can’t believe that you are no longer present here with us, but thankful to know you are now looking out for us all from above. You were an amazing woman to know and love. Although we grew apart over the years for various reasons, my love for you my friend never ceased. I will always remember driving with you through Boston, as you texted, smoked, and shifted that car all at the same time. Cutting through wrong way crossovers to get where we were going a little faster. Laughing, crying, loving, and laughing some more till we were crying from it. Not to mention cutting the couch apart to make a sectional……..in the apartment. So many memories of all of us together. Rest easy, your influence in those who knew you will always live on us.
Dear Bill and Shelia,
Parents should never have to bury a child, regardless of the child’s age. Over the years I felt I got to know Jennifer from conversations at dinner dates and Loyce also keeps me current. I hope today’s pain will be wrapped in all the good and fun memories you have made together. Jennifer will always be missed, but the joys of her life will ease today’s pain and help you remember her as she would want you to.
With my sincere condolences and a big, tight hug, Linda
Reading all of these tributes, I’m just blown away by how many people Jenn touched. She truly was one of a kind and always made an effort to reach out to old and new friends, she always had a future event up her sleeve, a new hobby, a recent creation. I admired her positivity and stamina in the face of a truly cruel diagnosis, she was such an inspiration. I have to say, she left me with the best gift in showing me how one can make the best of terminal illness. I visited her a couple times over the past year, and both times, she ran circles around me, organizing social events, even when she surely wasn’t feeling great.
After Jenn and I graduated from Nerinx, we lost touch for many years. We re-connected when I finally needed some guidance on coming out, and yes, you can guess, she had all the right pointers and advice. I was so lucky to get to hang with her and Jane in Ptown…meet new friends, hand out Boston Spirit magazines…those 2 really know how make the most of a 3day weekend!
I will miss you Jenn and thank you for all your life advice!
I don’t think I have seen Jenn since our graduation from Nerinx Hall in 1988, yet her smile has always stayed with me, just as so many others have expressed here. It’s amazing how certain people leave an imprint on your heart without even realizing it. Jenn’s kindness was effortless, and her warmth filled a room in a way that made everyone feel seen and valued.
Reading the memories shared here, it is clear that the compassion and love she carried through life only grew stronger with time. Even after all these years, I hope it brings comfort to see how deeply she touched so many through her generosity, her spirit, and the joy she brought to the people around her.
She will always be remembered not just for her beautiful smile, but for the light she shared so freely with others. May her family and loved ones feel surrounded by that same light and love now.