On December 1, 2024, Mary Ellen Schmalz (née Toczylowski) was welcomed home by her loving God and the warm embrace of her beloved parents, Regina (Carrigan) and Edward. Her life was a testament to love, joy, quiet fortitude, and unwavering faithfulness. Mary had a gift for lighting up every room she entered, with a quick smile, lots of laughter and the occasional jazz hands. Through all of life’s ups and downs, she chose to find happiness, sing, wear pink and always go to the beach.
While lovingly called “Fun Mary,” “Aunt Sissy,” and “Toz” by many, her most cherished titles were “Mom” and “Grams.” She was selfless and unwavering in her dedication to her family. Everything she did was with the goodness of her children and grandchildren in mind. She loved bravely and without hesitation. Mary was a faithful friend and comfort to anyone needing it. She cared deeply about what was good and just.
She is now the dearest angel watching over her children, Jill Schmalz and Bob Schmalz (Ashlea Pollard), and her adored grandchildren: Grady Lee, Etta Jean, Theo, Ozzie, and Patrice. Mary was the beloved sister of Ron Toczylowski (Mary Albers), Diane Roth (Jim), and Tom Toczylowski (Geri Kern). She will be lovingly remembered by her nieces and nephews: Ted Toczylowski (Nicki), Jane Mauer (Mark), Maggie Hoette (Zach), Michael Roth (Kristina), Emily Playford (Chris), Kevin Roth (Cara), Sam (Kate), Anna, Will, and KC Toczylowski, Lisa and Kim Schmalz, as well as her 20 great-nieces and nephews.
Born in St. Louis, Missouri, Mary earned her nursing degree from Goldfarb School of Nursing and excelled in her career and many passions. A proud member of the River Blenders Sweet Adeline Chorus for over 20 years, she shared her love of music, friendship and competition. Mary loved Jesus and was a member of The Gathering UMC and she treasured her Hanley Towers neighbors as family.
A celebration of Mary’s beautiful life and soul will take place on Saturday, December 14th at 12:00 at The Gathering UMC, 101 N. Bemiston Avenue, Clayton, MO 63105.
In lieu of flowers, the family kindly requests that donations be made to the Foster and Adoptive Care Coalition or by granting Little Wishes to children experiencing foster care in Mary’s honor.
We are all better for having been loved by her.
So terribly sorry for your loss. Mary was a dear friend and we enjoyed many good times together over the years – including Christmas Eves at my home, a trip to the Oprah Show in Chicago, shows at the Fox, movie going and numerous dinner celebrations. She was such a fun and loving person to spend time with, and I will always cherish those memories. It was clear how important her family was to her when we got together and shared what was going on in our lives. I will miss her so very much.
My deepest sympathy.
My heart sank when I saw this. As one of her previous Hanley Towers neighbors, I observed her kindness, her willingness to help and her beautiful smile. Rest in peace, sweet Mary.
One of my dearest friends from kindergarten at Ascension School through Jewish Hospital School of Nursing, “Toz” will always be in my fondest memories. I can still picture going to her house to play, and sitting on her living room floor while Jean, her mom, was folding laundry. And I can still switch gears to remember sitting in her dorm room at Jewish, cramming for Anatomy & Physiology Finals. What a huge loss. My deepest sympathy to her family and loved ones!
I considered Mary a dear friend. She had that aura of sunshine and a great smile to lighten up your day. She was smart and witty. She adored her children and her friends. She will be missed by many.
All of us at Hanley Towers will miss Mary terribly. She was such a positive force and so willingly gave of herself and talents to any project we have undertaken. She was such a loyal friend to countless residents here and there will be an emptiness without her. We send our deepest sympathy to her beloved family.
What a beautiful tribute to a wonderful woman who will live on in the hearts of so many with great memories and stories
So sad for our loss as Toz was my first best friend! Since showing me how to take the bus home from kindergarten to exploring Lafayette Square, my neighborhood, this past September, we have had so many adventures. We learned to sew together, sounded out guitar songs together and proudly shared stories about our children and grandchildren. So much love! Throughout the years it was so wonderful to be her friend because she was always open, supportive, smart, funny and caring. I pray in thanksgiving for her and in support of her family and friends.
I’m so very sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to all of your family.
A fellow Red Knight and sweet girl!
My heart aches for Jill and Bobby and “her person” Diane. To know her was to love her. We didn’t call her “fun Mary” for nothing. She made us laugh and was quick to lend a hand. The Blues Crew will never be the same.
Gary and Diane
It was fun walking around and shaking off the cat food and snacks and watching our family trying to guess what the food was….