Unger, Barbara Antionette (nee Freitag)

Baptized into the Hope of Christ’s Resurrection Sunday, May 10, 2026.

With loving remembrance and gratitude for a life filled with faith and service we announce the passing of Barbara Unger.

Barb was a women of duty, resolve, and innocence. She was the beloved wife of the late John Unger and the loving mother of John and his wife Lucy, Irene and her husband Joe, Karen and her husband Todd. Barb was devoted to and treasured her grandchildren, Justin, Seamus, Jeremy, Emma, Ryan, and Jack.

Barb lived a full life, deeply engaged in her community as a Sheriff’s Deputy, and her parish where there wasn’t a club she didn’t belong to. Barb was surrounded by friends her entire life, frequently traveling with some of them to Alaska, Hawaii and many points between. This past December she checked off a bucket list item with a trip to the Tournament of Roses Parade in Pasadena.

Her legacy of faith and service will live on in her children, grandchildren, extended family and dear friends.

Please join the visitation to celebrate Barb’s life at Kutis Afton Chapel 10151 Gravois Road, 63123 from 3:00 to 8:00 pm on Friday, May 29, 2026, Rosary at Kutis Afton Chapel Friday, May 29, 2026 from 7:45 to 8:00 pm and, or at St. John the Baptist Catholic Church on Saturday, May 30, 2026 for 10:00 am Mass.

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Now, if you are a fan of long form story telling, then pour yourself a cup of tea or coffee and settle into your favorite chair for a remembrance of Barb as told by her children:

Barbara Antoinette Unger (September 21, 1944 – May 10, 2026) 81 of St. Louis, Missouri died unexpectedly on May 10, 2026.

Barb’s life of faith, service and love of crafts often intersected. Her life of faith led to her involvement in church groups ranging from rosary and serving as a communion minister to quilting and cleaning. Her friends believe there wasn’t a club to which she didn’t belong. Her love of needle work, knitting, and crocheting produced treasured gifts for every child, grandchild, grandniece, and grandnephew. Her sewing yielded clothes for her children including her daughter Irene’s wedding dress. Her skills as a seamstress were also displayed in the countless quilts she participated in completing and provided her with the knowledge and skills needed to be a teacher and counselor for Forai.

She was born in St. Louis in 1944, the only child of Anthony Bernard Freitag and HelenMarie Freitag (nee. Frank). Anthony was a photographer and hundreds of his photographs from Barb’s childhood remain in family photo albums. Tragically, Tony passed when Barb was only 12. This was in 1957, a pivotal year in Barb’s story. Her family life archetype transitioned from traditional mother, father, daughter with the expected family roles to only child of a single parent.

Helen returned to work to provide for herself and Barb but never learned to drive. Helen was very independent and used public transit until Barb gained her license and became her chauffeur for the remainder of her life. Barb also started working early and contributed to the household. From all accounts Helen and Barb enjoyed a loving and close relationship throughout.

Barb grew up as a “cradle” Catholic in South St. Louis, Missouri and attended St. Anthony’s grade and high schools. The church and parish community were the bedrock and foundation of Barbara’s life.

(As the reader you are probably noticing a lot of Anthonys in this telling and Barb’s middle name Antoinette. At some point in high school she picked up the nick-name Toni. Her life long friends and husband John would use that name for her well into her 60s.)

Barb met John Joseph Unger in 1962, jumping into opposite sides of the same car to get to a local youth group event. Piecing together the story from Mom and Dad’s journal entries, letters, and Teens Encounter Christ (TEC) talks over the years it seems that they knew of each other for a while and dated rather tentatively at first. But once the sparks became flames, there was no going back. John and Barb were married at St. Cecilia’s Catholic Church on October 30,1965.

Barb and John happily welcomed their son John Joseph Jr. to the family on January 7th, 1967. Their first daughter, Irene Marie, arrived shortly thereafter on September 28th, 1968 and Karen Lynn completed the set on March 7th, 1972.

The early years were challenging, hectic, and happy. John’s mom was not well and Barb frequently did laundry, sewing, and other chores to help out John’s father and five brothers who still lived at home. The young family visited John’s parents’ house every Friday night until their passing. John completed his apprenticeship as a union railroad machinist eventually becoming a journeyman mechanic and Barb enjoyed mothering, cooking, sewing, gardening, and visiting Helen. The family traveled frequently, Tennessee, Colorado, New Mexico, Florida and Disney World to name just some of the highlights.

Church events and retreats, scouting, community service, and youth sporting events filled nearly every available hour. John and Barb participated in and often led various events like parish picnics, parish renewal programs, TEC retreats, and communion ministers. They became deeply involved in Scouting with both John and Barb completing Wood Badge and attending the Philmont Training Center in New Mexico.

The year 1979 was a second sharp pivot; a year of before and after. In January she lost her best friend, life long companion, and mother, Helen. Throughout the year John’s health deteriorated and after many doctors’ office visits and several hospital stays he was diagnosed with early onset Parkinson’s Disease – at the time thought to be an old person’s disease. John was 37.

But life went on. The children attended St. Cecilia’s grade school until the family transferred to Resurrection parish in 1980 where they completed their grade school education before finishing their catholic education at local high schools.

As John began to pull back at work Barb decided to return to the professional world and accepted a job with Clayton Savings and Loan. Perhaps it was all of the evenings working in the “cash room” for parish events and picnics but Barb became a teller, a trainer of tellers, and later a financial planning counselor. Barb had long been active in her children’s education, now she was “walking the walk” by completing every certification she could – 11 in her seven years at the savings and loan.

In 1983, Barb and John moved to a smaller, more affordable home, walking distance from Resurrection Church and School. There were many reasons for the move, they were less than a block away from their best friends at the time, we had already joined this parish and celebrated Mass in this community, and Karen could easily walk to and from school.

By 1986, John’s condition prohibited him from continuing to work and he went on disability status with the railroad until his official retirement. These were very difficult years for the family. Irene had just left for college (the first to attend) Karen was starting high school, and John Jr. had joined the workforce as a computer sales person and technician. Everyone pitched in to help, but it was Barb’s income that allowed the family to stay in the house they now owned and also allowed Irene and Karen to continue their education.

Barb faced criticism for “leaving the children” and abandoning her homemaker role. Two earner households were still rare and John’s disability was not widely understood during Barb’s early career years. We were proud of her and now recognize that Helen and Barb faced similar challenges and exhibited similar grace, resilience, and faith.

Karen met Todd Hedrick in 1989 and their love grew year over year. This was the same year that Barb accepted a position with the St. Louis City Sheriff’s office. In 1994 Todd proposed to Karen and Barb was overjoyed. Todd was attending the Missouri State Highway Patrol Academy by this time and Barb loved that her soon to be son-in-law was also choosing a life of service. Karen and Todd married on December 23, 1994. On February 7, 2000, they welcomed Barb’s first grandchild, Justin, who was so excited to be a part of the family he came two months early. Mom’s first grandchild sure knew how to get and keep attention!

John met Lucy Herbers on February 4th, 2002 and Barb’s grandchildren count jumped to four when John and Lucy said “I do” on May 9th, 2003. Seamus born on April 5th, 1992, Jeremy born on February 16th, 1994, and Emma born on September 2nd, 1996 became grandchild 2,3, and 4 all on the same day! (Barb delivered a beautiful speech that evening and we found the handwritten copy in her effects. There was some criticism of this union in the staunchly Catholic families but Barb paved the way for Lucy’s entry to the family. They would become dear friends over the years.)

Her fifth grandchild, and Karen and Todd’s second son, Ryan Anthony, arrived on September 8, 2003. (Careful readers will note the addition of another Tony.)

Her sixth grandchild, and John and Lucy’s first son, Jack (John) was born on Friday, October 13th, 2004. A lucky day indeed.

Irene met Joe Ward on September 7th, 2022. They were married on December 29th, 2023. While, it may not have been “love at first sight”, perhaps it was destiny. Joe’s middle name is Anthony. Joe brings to the family his two sons, Daniel and Anthony, his daughter-in-law Tori and his beautiful granddaughter, Olivia. Unfortunately, they never got the chance to meet Barb, but we know that Barb would have welcomed them with open arms.

Our father passed away on October 17, 2003. His 24 year battle with Parkinson’s Disease became our mother’s victory. Barb was faithful, dutiful, loving, caring, and beautiful through it all. She staunchly advocated for John and when it came time for him to join the communion of saints Barb kept going. She came prepared with a book that she and John prepared for his last rights. She called all of the shots.

For the first time in her life, Barb was not caring for her husband, her children, nor her extensive family of in-laws. Barb was finally able to live the life she had earned after years of putting everyone else first. She was ready for the her third pivot – welcome to the Barb Era!

This is where Barb’s story explodes into hundred of stories. We started to list all of the friends that Barb has shared meals, memories, and trips with. The list is hundreds of names too long to enumerate. Those of you reading this far into our remembrance know who you are. You should also know that Barb’s children and their spouses love you for sharing your life with the beautiful person we know Barb to be.

The circle of friends and the events attended took another leap larger in 2015 when Barbara officially retired from the Sheriff’s Office leaving oh so much more time for bingo, and quilting, and quilting bingos!

Weeks before her 80th birthday she was asked if she would like a dinner with the family to celebrate. She replied by asking, “can I invite a few friends”? When asked how many, her answer was voiced in that small, apologetic way Barb tried (not tried) to ask for something. “I don’t know, maybe 50?” About 80 of you showed up. The messages you wrote to Barb on that night are a part of her memorial. Thank you.

Finally, we feel a duty to address the 600+ elephants in the room. Our mother steadfastly lived into existence innocence and child like joy and curiosity. At the end of each day she entered a house filled with love and remembrances of her faith, family, friends, and the Lord’s messages made tangible by Precious Moments figurines. Our mother knew the gritty, unwholesome, aspects of our community in St. Louis. She built her home into a retreat of peace and happiness. A space where no one would criticize her, where no one would hurt her. In her bibles, and journals, there is a desire for learning, loving and growing. She was 81 and she likely felt she was just hitting her stride.

In lieu of flowers please consider a donation to:

Forai, a faith based Christian 501(c)3 organization partnering with local refugee and immigrant women to enable the realization of economic, educational, and social goals through training and peer support, and by expanding market opportunities for artisans

or

Precious Moments Foundation, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization with an emphasis in the arts. They are dedicated to preserving the Precious Moments Chapel for all visitors to enjoy the art and inspiration of Samuel J. Butcher.

or

St. John the Baptist Catholic Church, your parish, or favorite charity in Barb’s honor.

As stated above:

Barb was preceded in death by her father, Anthony Bernard Freitag (June 23, 1957), mother, HelenMarie Freitag (nee. Frank) (Jan 28, 1979) and husband John Joseph Unger (October 17, 2003).

Visitation at Kutis Afton Chapel located on 10151 Gravois Road, 63123, Friday, May 29, 2026 from 3:00 to 8:00 pm.

Rosary at Kutis Afton Chapel Friday, May 29, 2026 from 7:45 to 8:00 pm

Funeral Mass at St. John the Baptist Catholic Church 4200 Delor St., St. Louis, 63116, Saturday, May 30 at 10:00 am.

Internment following at Resurrection Cemetery Chapel 6901 Mackenzie Road, 63123